The Fukkit List


I have noticed people talking about their ‘bucket lists’ a lot lately. While I can appreciate the concept, (and for terminally ill people I completely understand) the idea has never really appealed to me. I’m probably a very boring person, but extreme challenges and Swimming with Dolphins/Riding in Hot Air Balloons etc, just leaves me reaching for the TV remote and a cup of cocoa!

I was thinking instead, that I need to make a ‘Fukkit List!’ You know, fukkit to all those irritating things that seem to  be expected of you, and that most people don’t have the courage to stand up to, and say “NO! I’m not doing that!”  Even though my inner toddler is kicking and screaming on the floor, like a mini-banshee-in-training. Also, all the things that I keep meaning to do, but haven’t yet had the confidence/chutzpah to do before.

It’s not as adventurous as a long, ambitious, Bucket List; but hey, for me, (a weirdly gregarious introvert) it’s a HUGE step!


So, here are my Fukkit List suggestions to myself:

Say NO to dinner invitations from people who ignore you the whole rest of the year.

If service is terrible in shops/restaurant – COMPLAIN about it, unapologetically! STOP being so bloody British about it!

LET the laundry/mess pile up, the house fairies might take over… or the kids might learn a useful new skill!

TRY not to let the problems of the whole world bring you down. It’s easy to get sucked in by all the negativity out there. JUST try to do what you CAN to help someone; in a small way, or a large way. It is enough. We are not Superheroes, sadly.

I WON’T feel guilty if I eat a (few packs!) cookie now and then! I’d rather die fat and happy. Well, I’d really rather die with a booty like ‘boom boom boom!’, but cookies are good too!

STOP frantically tidying up before last-minute visitors show up. They came for the wine.

DON’T let other people’s opinions silence your own. Yours are just as valid.

STOP doing sport just because you feel you should. If you have to force it – it can’t be good for you, surely?

TRY to find more time for ME. I am not a magically replenishing vessel of energy. I get empty too, sometimes.

HAVE more confidence in my writing. I may not be Sylvia Plath, but I have my own style; sarcastic, witty, and sometimes painfully honest. As the Americans say: (and I love this!) ‘Girl – you do YOU, Honey!’

TAKE THE COURSE on Flying with Confidence, that I’ve been meaning to do for ever! It will be nice to be able to do air travel without taking sedatives/getting plastered. I’m NOT a very quiet drunk!

So WHAT if OH doesn’t want to see the same movies as I do? I’ll go alone, and I’ll ENJOY it, Dammit! *more popcorn for me*

DRESS for my mood, the weather, and myself. NOT ‘age appropriate’, ‘anti-rape’ clothes. I’m an adult woman… and I’ll wear what the fekk I want, in the combination I want!

SING like no one’s listening! And at the top of my voice. My older daughter sings in a band, and sometimes looks at me quizzically when I am trilling along to the radio. But I don’t care anymore. She owes it all to me, anyway! 😉

START taking my own advice more… and other’s advice LESS. After all this time, I think I know ME best!

DANCE around in my undertrews! You see, I CAN do sport! With a little musical persuasion!

Learn to say FUKKIT more – without apologising!



Well, that’s MY Fukkit List done – what’s on yours?? 😀



and Happy Weekend!


The Hedgehog x

10 thoughts on “The Fukkit List

  1. This is hilarious and awesome at the same time! I especially agree with not having to tidy up my place before visitors! Especially when you aren’t even hosting something, hey you said you wanted to come by and include yourself in my at home day 😛 So welcome to my home, as is.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Well. that brought more than a smile to my face – and the image of you dancing round in your underwear is keeping it there! A wonderful rant – and so creative. It aslo has so many hard-hitting truths about really being ourselves. Doing things just to please others – or society in general – is just stifling. And bucket lists are definitely out for me, too. Who wants to tempt fate?

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Amen, Sister! You do YOU, I’ll do ME – and hopefully, someone will do us both when we’re in the mood 🙂 LOVE the “anti-rape” style commentary by the way – isn’t that just ridiculous? I don’t do bucket lists either but I love the idea of so many days left in the year, what are you going to do with them? Here’s to making them EXACTLY what you want!

    Liked by 1 person

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