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Counting Time

Still relevant.

The Hedgeblog

apples

Since I left my insane, abusive ex, the expected PTSD has revealed a most unexpected side effect.

Counting time.

You may not have heard of this. In fact I have googled it so many times, that the mouse finds its own way to the page now.

And, guess what?? I found nothing! Nothing to reassure me that there are millions of others with this same strange disorder. Nothing to assure me that I am not alone. Nothing to comfort me that this will eventually fade away.

What exactly IS counting time?

…you may ask!

Well, it’s kind of hard to explain, I’m no psychologist. But for me, it’s a constant watching of the clock, counting and working out the hours until this or that event, and also a reluctance to use up time on anything that I see as ‘unnecessary fun’, or ‘frippery’.

It’s an icky, nervous feeling of wasting…

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5 thoughts on “Counting Time

  1. I think about this all the time since you originally posted it.I was just thinking about it today as I was watching Sunday’s minutes drip away and feeling panicky. And I don’t have the horrors you survived to attribute it to. You are amazing. *hugs*

    Liked by 1 person

  2. When I get to the word “stabbed” my heart stops, and it should. So often it’s easier to look away or not think about the long-term effect of trauma. Brave of you to share your story, beautifully talented of you to share it in this way. Wishing you peace and plenty of “time” to get there, xoxoxoxo

    Liked by 1 person

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